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Riot Gear

[ website | UrbanDeviant.com ]
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(5 clap and | cough)

[12 Nov 2003|09:15pm]
I went to a concert a few days ago,
and I probably went to another one last night.

(3 clap and | cough)

Next Day Flight [26 May 2003|07:51pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Whatever happened to waiting?
Numb lips move too fast for care
And it just happens that I'm thinking
Starving for breath of hope in heart I fell asleep to you breathing
Showing signs of wanting what I cant give
Close off my spirit and give in to
Touches too close to be so far
Regrets stay here when you'll be gone
Too dark to see sheets cold to touch
Promise for more, hold strong to show yourself that
You want what's given to wait for one
One heart forever will beat for yours

Flight info:
LV HNL 4.45pm AR LAX 1.01am [5hours 16minutes]
Flight: 930
LV LAX 1.40am AR MEM 7.10am [3hours 30minutes]
Flight: 182
LV MEM 8.25am AR TYS 10.44am [1hour 19minutes]

For anyone who actually reads any of this, I'm throwing the rest of this on the LJ username diabolous

(1 clap and | cough)

[25 May 2003|10:08am]
[ mood | calm ]

One of the beautiful things in life that goes unnoticed are certain actions that by themselves are just as beautiful as paintings that tourists flock to everywhere from everywhere to see.

An example? The short and deliberate movement by the hand to extinguish a match's flame that was just lit. In itself it shows a trivial tragedy of single use and beautiful movement, how a flick of the wrist can change everything.


[21 May 2003|04:58pm]
[ mood | worried :\ ]

Distaste sensed through a more than uncomfortable silence is almost unbearable.
That's a lie, it's completely unbearable.
Frequent and guilty sighs and the lack of words to express a proper apology.
To depend on a beautiful reply
and to get nothing of the sort

The silent treatment.


[18 May 2003|03:30am]
Eh, it figures.

Doesn't it?


[16 May 2003|12:57am]
[ mood | excited ]

So there's just a quick fall in and fall out but quick can't be considered quick if it was for more than a year. I know nothing about it, not in my life, not at all. Wandering can't be that great so late at night, can it?

Communication. Smooth, too smooth, too perfect, perfect enough. I've nothing to do tomorrow and there's almost everything that I have to finish. Running about, bills, dry cleaners, bills, bills, clothes, and luggage. How's that for quick plans?

The metal on my finger's already too much a part of me, I took it off for a moment to wash the dishes at one point today and I started to panic. Quick thoughts about it falling in the drain and then something out of a Jerry Lewis movie would probably ensue. It's more than just something to smile about, it's something to remind me that no matter how much this feels like a dream, it's real, we're real. The 25th will be half a year so far, half of a year. 180something days of her. I'm more than dependant on the girl. A day away from her is more than obvious on my demeanor, and gladly that is a rarity. I've never felt this way before, I've never falling for someone like this, she says the same thing. So, this is the first for both of us. I'm only hers, she's only mine.

It's been this way forever.


Because that's just how it feels.

I'm not sure but I might do something with Brian this week or the next. That is if he's stopped hating me for not listening to Camper Van Beethoven.

11 days till I leave.


[15 May 2003|12:54pm]

"Well, what am I missing??"

"If you have to ask, you're missing it."

(1 clap and | cough)

[14 May 2003|12:44am]
[ mood | cold, the weather is not nice. ]

more than completed

There it is,
she said she couldn't help herself.

Ever since she hinted that it was going to be around my finger soon there was a wait that almost killed me. As soon as it was around my finger, my first thought was that it'll never come off. The second? She's been what I've pictured as the perfect girl, met expectations that I never thought anyone could meet, and not a single disappointment.


My new favorite belt and an Underworld shirt.

2 more weeks and I'm off. Out and about.

(1 clap and | cough)

[13 May 2003|12:35am]
Mr. Pot meet Mr. Kettle

(1 clap and | cough)

[08 May 2003|08:22pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Some days end screaming that you get drunk and listen to the Trainspotting soundtrack.

Run around.


[07 May 2003|10:18am]
GO SWEDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update: God damn it.

Update: Sweden won, Finland hang your head in shame.


[06 May 2003|11:37pm]
Oh, right. New journal.

Add me if you like: Diabolous


[06 May 2003|11:33pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I bought the ticket last yesterday but it feels like it could've been forever ago. It's the same amount of time till I leave, or it might as well be. Then till now, now till then. I'll be in Cali again by the 28th, maybe a week or so later I'll be living there with girl in tow. It's just odd, I've never seen myself like this. Attached by the heart, head over heels, completely involved.

I've gotten calls all weekend, news travels fast enough. Texas, Cali, New Jersey. Friends screaming into the reciever, "Dude, you're getting married? You're getting married?? Why are you getting married? When the hell did this happen? How long have you known her? Where the hell have you been?"

The reply's more or less the same.
"Yes, yes...I can't help what I feel, it just feels right. More or less a month ago or in December. Forever. Around?"

bat your eyes 1000 times
I've dreamed of touching your face
I never thought it could be this good
I'll never forget you
not in a million years


[01 May 2003|08:35am]
[ mood | busy-ish ]

Light plans today.
Running through sites that need my attention
more planning for the end of this month
filling the time between now and then.


[01 May 2003|07:51am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

There was one thing that I ask for
that was promised
and broken.


There is a distant
destination of choice.
Twenty-seven days from now, away.

(1 clap and | cough)

[29 Apr 2003|06:32pm]
[ mood | Far from crushed. ]

I can say, "I love you"
a million times in a day to her
and every time it's said
it'll mean as much as it did the first time.


[27 Apr 2003|11:36pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

It's been a long time since I've had so much trouble sleeping.
2 hours, I'm awake.
Half an hour, I'm awake.
Constant worry, a little paniced.
I know that everything will be alright in a few hours.
But that's more than forever away now.

(3 clap and | cough)

Slightly delayed [26 Apr 2003|10:15am]
[ mood | <3 ]

"The ring is just breathtaking, not just physically. The way I feel when I put it on, how I know that it will always be there, how I know that the love and promise that it represents will never ever be broken. As soon as it was on my finger, I was calmed, this is forever."

I couldn't help myself, I couldn't wait any longer. If it isn't obvious, I bought her an engagement ring. Nothing has ever felt more right.
The idea's been thrown around ever since we started talking, and as of yesterday it's more than official.
So, what about me? How do I explain myself? What do I think I'm doing?
I'm hers, I've always been hers, and I'll always belong to her.

I love you, Nik.
Happy Anniversary.


[26 Apr 2003|03:35am]
[ mood | bored ]

...so shut the radio off again to hear the noiseless sounds of the unfilled evening outside. The windows come down to experience the subtle mists and cold air. Farther away, surrounded and around block after block of symmetrical grass, symmetrical lifestyles always being watered electronically at this time of night.

It's so sad,
I want to meet you.
I'm so glad,
I get to meet you.

I'm usually up too early.

(3 clap and | cough)

[25 Apr 2003|06:56am]
[ mood | amused ]

I adore it when she demands all of my attention.

5 Months, 5 perfect months.

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